If there was one thing that I would want for my life and for the life of my kids it would be certainty. That things could be planned. (good thought huh?) This morning at 1am I took Finn to the ER after he started vomiting and wouldn't stop and we couldn't get his fever down. We ended up being admitted and my sweet boy spent his whole day just being a blob. Lots of rest, lots of mommy cuddles and snuggles and lots of vomiting. He spent most of his day on an IV solution called D10 .45% normal saline with 10mEq of K. We spent the afternoon fighting why we really do need Finn to have oxygen at home and how it is beneficial for him to have it. And explaining all of the benefits that we have seen from it for Finn
This is that part of having a child with mito that kills me. Today ended on a great note Finn drank a few sips of juice and didn't vomit, so they are going to just from that to starting his g tube feeds at midnight. But tomorrow or the next day could bring something totally else. better or worse.
Tomorrow brings a new day, new challanges and if Finn keeps fighting the way that he fought to day hopefully coming home is in his new future....
I understand exactly what you are saying, but you know what? No one has certainty. Some people have more of an illusion of certainty than others, but it's just an illusion. At any given second, something could happen that could rip our lives apart. That's why we have to live in the moment. That's why we have to love what is given to us now. Because it is all a gift. And it all might be gone tomorrow. But it is here today, and it's here at this moment. And we'll never have this moment again.
ReplyDeleteAnd isn't it ironic how we all walk around longing for something that we will never ever get.
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